First Disappearances | holding bodies: a justice anthology

(dramatic music) (door banging) - [Speaker 1] The first time I was arrested, I was 19 years old.

- [Speaker 2] 26 at the time.

- [Speaker 3] I was 17.

- [Speaker 4] 16 years old - [Speaker 5] 19 years old.

- [Speaker 6] I just turned 16 years old.

- [Speaker 7] I was 17 when I was arrested.

- [Speaker 8] My arrest seems like it was yesterday.

- [Speaker 9] Like it was yesterday.

- [Speaker 10] We had a family gathering at the house.

- [Speaker 11] I was getting ready to take a friend to a doctor's appointment.

- [Speaker 12] Me and about three or four of my cousins and my brother were all standing in front of our home.

- [Speaker 13] On the corner.

- [Speaker 14] I was in bed.

- [Speaker 15] They had just gotten out the shower.

- [Speaker 16] Two or and more cars passed.

One stopped, one kept going.

(tires screech) When they stopped, he hopped out of the car.

- [Speaker 17] He come to the house - [Speaker 18] And I heard banging on the door.

- [Speaker 19] Didn't sound like a neighbor knocking.

- [Speaker 20] My mother answered the door, and they just barged their way in.

- [Speaker 21] They had their hand near their firearms.

- [Speaker 22] Draw their guns, asked me to get up.

They twist my arms, put the cuffs on me.

I had on nothing but my underwear.

- [Speaker 23] Everybody that was on the corner at that time was arrested.

- [Speaker 24] I'm asking them, "Why am I being arrested?"

They told me they couldn't tell me any of that.

I had to come with them.

(police radio chatters) - [Speaker 25] I remember a lot of people outside watching me get into the car, watching everybody pass by and in your mind you thinking if you ever gonna see these people... (sirens blaring) (dramatic music) (police radio chatter) - [Speaker 26] When we make it there to central lockup, they get me out the car, I'm handcuffed.

I'm looking around like, "What is this place?

"What's going on here?"

(metal clanking) - [Speaker 27] I just remember going down the corridor, going into the precinct, where they have all these people being detained.

First thing they ask you to do is take everything out of your pocket, tag it, bag it.

- [Speaker 28] You know they pressed my finger on everything.

They took my mug shot, told me to stand up, like I'm posing for a picture and turn sideways.

- [Speaker 29] And they put you in a holding cell.

- [Speaker 30] When they shut that door behind me, (cell door slamming) Boom!

I stopped and I just looked.

90% of the people that are in here, they all gonna stop doing what they're doing and look at you.

- [Speaker 31] All these different faces, everybody in there for different reasons.

- [Speaker 32] Different vibes running through that cage in there.

- You got frustration, constant moving.

- [Speaker 33] It's a small jungle that you be trapped inside of.

- [Speaker 34] You have a big pot of gumbo in one cell and it's all different flavors.

- [Speaker 35] It feels like you're drowning.

- [Speaker 36] They came through with some cold sandwiches.

- [Speaker 37] Cold bologna sandwiches.

The meat was frozen.

- [Speaker 38] I didn't have an appetite to eat so I just used my sandwich for a pillow.

- [Speaker 39] Then they call three people out every few hours and be booked and they take you, cattle you down, line you up against the wall.

A few deputies stand on the opposite side and they make everybody at once take off their clothes.

You have to bend over, touch your ankles with one hand, use your other hand to open your butt cheeks.

You have to cough.

And then sometime when they really wanna dehumanize you, "Cough harder."

(imitates coughing) - [Speaker 40] They ask you your size jumper and they give you a orange jumper with some slippers and you know towels and soap.

If you pick the wrong jumper, you stuck with it.

If it's too small, you stuck with it.

It's too big, you stuck with it.

- [Speaker 41] They moved me upstairs, third floor to an area in HOD.

- [Speaker 42] CCC.

They put me in the back.

- [Speaker 43] I want to say it was three cells down there.

(cell door closing) - [Speaker 44] The bed was uncomfortable.

Pillow was uncomfortable.

- [Speaker 45] I couldn't sleep.

I would take my fingers and try and hold my eyes open to keep from falling asleep.

But eventually your body wears down and we have no control over it.

(gentle music) (baton bangs against cell bars) - [Speaker 46] Woke up at about 4:30, 5:00, rack the cells.

This time he walks up to the cell and he's gonna call names.

Your name is called.

- [Edward] Edward Johnson.

- [Isaac] Isaac Knapper.

- [Jerome] Jerome Morgan.

- [Jude] Jude Braud.

- [Speaker 47] Told I had a court date They asked you, "Do you wanna take a shower?"

I had more confusion, terror and anxiety than the drops that fell out the shower head in over three minutes.

(water running) - [Speaker 48] Then they bring you in a line up.

Throw some waist chains, shackles and handcuffs at your feet.

- [Speaker 49] They take one of your legs and they attach them to another person's leg.

- [Speaker 50] The guard would be holding the front chain like we animals and he would pull us, we follow him.

(chains clinking) - [Speaker 51] They put so many people in the bus, I did not have a seat.

I was forced to sit in the aisle.

- [Speaker 52] They held us on the bus for hours and hours and hours waiting to go to court.

- [Speaker 53] I'm locked inside of a box, inside of a box with shackles on my feet.

- [Speaker 54] The courthouse was on the other side of the street, so it took from five o'clock in the morning to maybe eight o'clock just to get 20 feet on a bus.

(chains rattling) (feet shuffling) - [Speaker 55] Taken into a back door, into a tunnel and then you come out what they call the docks.

- [Speaker 56] No where to sit, no benches, no mattresses, nothing.

- [Speaker 57] And we would set in that cell until our name is being called to go and face the judge.

- [Speaker 58] You listen for the name when they call it in a lineup 'cause they're not gonna call it again.

So if you miss your name, you miss your court.

- [Speaker 59] They bring it out to the auction block 12 at a time.

First in the back, when the room, it look like this.

Nothing but concrete floors and walls and ceilings.

As soon as they open the door and I come out, I see nothing but cherry wood, like polished things.

I see people families who sitting in the front row.

- [Speaker 60] My family just didn't come.

- [Bailiff] Order in court.

All rise.

Section M one of the criminal district court is now in session.

The honorable Judge (beep) is now presiding.

(gavel tapping) Silence is commanded under penalty of fine or imprisonment.

God saved this honorable court.

Please be seated.

(gavel tapping) Good morning your Honor.

- [Narrator] Everyone who is arrested and whose cases go to criminal court starts out going through magistrate court and has what's called a first appearance.

You will see to your left at the door is a deputy sheriff, armed, and then you'll see to your right the clerks working for the court.

Then there's two tables.

The first one is the District Attorney and then further back is the public defenders.

- [Clerk] When I come into court, I usually get there before the judge takes the bench.

- [DA] Go to my table and I gather my files and folders.

- [Clerk 2] Maybe reviewing the (indistinct).

There are some people in the audience now waiting for their case to be called.

And then you know that the people are coming.

It's because it sounds like a slave ship or like the sounds of ghosts in the attic 'cause you hear all of this crazy jingling.

- [Speaker 61] That's when you see a person at their most broken state.

You've already left the anxiety of the jail and now you're facing a courtroom.

- [Clerk 1] Everybody comes in.

Then the judge comes out.

- [Judge] When I enter they, you know, they do the all rise.

- [Bailiff] Order in court, all rise.

- [Judge] And I sit down and I usually say, "Good morning, everyone."

- [Narrator] The magistrate judge would just go through each case and do a first appearance and the judge generally would ask the DA what the charge is and if they had any information on the person's prior record.

- [Speaker 62] And then you hear all these people talking about you, the lawyers, they referencing your name.

You keep hearing the judge reference your name.

And then you go over to a booth and you speak to one of the lawyers.

- [Public Defender] So I introduce myself.

I tell them I'm with the public defender's office.

Tell them that I'm a lawyer.

- [Speaker 62] How did I even end up here?

All the events that happened the day before, I never thought I would be here.

- [Public Defender] Sometimes when people are really upset, you know, I just try to spend a minute calming them down.

I don't have a lot of time to talk to people.

- [Speaker 63] The only thing they know about me with the documents that they had in it.

- [Public Defender] I read the police report to them.

What's alleged in that summons they have no idea.

- [Speaker 65] When I realized sort of what the incident might have been about, I was like, "You gotta be kidding me?"

- [Speaker 66] When they read all this to me is when I realized the police officer saw them throw the cracked pieces on the ground, right?

But he didn't write the report that way.

- [Narrator] You will see the exact same police report Xeroxed the same thing in terms of the person's possession of drugs and that's it, there's probable cause.

You're not allowed to present a defense.

You can't go outside the four corners of the police report.

- [Public Defender] They're to look at it as if every single thing that's alleged in writing is true.

- [Speaker 67] I don't believe that you question each and every police officer.

- [Judge] You set a bond from there.

Before you've set a bond, you need to determine if the defendant has the ability to pay a bond.

- [Speaker 67] There's no thinking about it.

I knew I couldn't pay it And my people didn't have that kind of money.

- [Speaker 68] They say, "This is your bond."

It had so many zeros on it, I don't know what the (beep).

- [Public Defender] I don't think that there is any rhyme or reason to the amount of bonds that are set.

- [Speaker 69] I had probably been in that back about four or five hours and that process was probably 10 to 11 minutes and I was right back out.

The crazy part is the judge never looked at me.

(dramatic music) - [Speaker 70] My mind just stopped working.

(glass breaking) You feel suffocated with voidness of being a human being.

Have to resist by retreating within yourself until this whirlwind subside enough for you to feel safe to try to figure out what's going on.

I dunno how I can describe it.

Like a bright black, you know is a space where darkness is at peace, but outside where it's red.

An island surrounded by a sea of blood, bubbling red.

It's just red, red.

- [Speaker 71] Now I'm sick to my stomach.

I have a really, really bad headache because now I can't be strong anymore.

I'm crying the whole time I'm waiting on the docks to go back to the jail because reality has set in.

I know that I'm going upstairs now.

- [Speaker 72] If you got the money, you know, you probably you be out in the next 24 hours.

But if you ain't got the money you might be here the next six months to a year.

- [Speaker 73] Now I'm got a bunch of what ifs.

- [Speaker 74] How do I live now being locked up?

- [Speaker 73] As I'm asking tons of questions to the ladies that are on the docks with me and one lady in particular, she said, "Well, don't worry about it.

If they don't accept the charge and then you'll be out in 60 days."

- [Speaker 75] I remember the slamming of the door, (cell door slamming) chinking of the chains as we walked down the halls.

I remember the closing of the door of the school bus getting back to the jail and getting in the cell and hearing the air come out (imitates air moving) and the slamming of the door.

(cell door closing) (sighing) That's it.

That's a wrap.

Everything faded to black.

(silence)